Most Artists Fail Because They Care Too Much
WHO WOULD YOU BE IF YOU STOPPED ABSORBING negative OPINIONS?
Who would Amaya Selyna be if she stopped absorbing people’s negative opinions about her work? Exactly who she is now, but probably better.
Because now , I genuinely do not give a flying f*ck.
And that wasn’t always the case. I came from caring way too much. Chronic people pleaser, opinions used to sit heavy on my chest like crazy. Now? I wish somebody could find a fck for me to give. Don’t get me wrong, I’m open to criticism. I hear it. I consider it. Honestly though most of the time I let that sh*t fly straight past me. You’ll eventually develop a filter for opinions. what to keep , consider , trash.
So let me ask you. Who would you be if you stopped absorbing people’s opinions? I bet you would’ve been a way different artist.
THE THREE STAGES OF SELF-AWARENESS
People will project their entire reality onto you if you’re not self-aware. Not because they’re evil, but because when you don’t know yourself, there’s space for other people to fill in the blanks, especially with assumptions. Its just in human nature to want to understand things , so people will piece together anything as long as it makes sense to them. This doesn’t make it truthful though , remember that.
Stage One: Being Completely Lost
You don’t know who you are yet, so opinions stick. Labels stick. Expectations stick. You start carrying identities that were never yours to begin with.
Stage Two: The Know-It-All Phase
It looks like confidence, but it’s really lowkey narcissistic. A lot of narcissistic people actually feel inferior to everyone around them, so they overcompensate by acting like they know everything. You can’t be taught here because learning would mean facing that insecurity, your ego would have to die. Projection still happens in this stage too, except now you’re projecting onto others instead of questioning yourself.
Stage Three: Self Awareness
No ego, no perfection. Just knowing who you are enough to tell what’s yours and what isn’t. The goal isn’t to know everything. The goal is to know yourself. When you know yourself, you don’t need to absorb every opinion or defend your identity. You’re grounded, but still open.
Self-awareness is knowing yourself well enough to stay teachable.
I’ve been there before where I mistook defensiveness for confidence. Really, it was just me being cocky and egotistical. Some artists get stuck there and never come back, for some this aids their career but for most? nah. And it’s beautiful knowing you’re good, you don’t have to be overly humble but humility goes a long way. Ask yourself: are you actually learning or do you just want to look like you know? Because trust me, you don’t know as much as you think. None of us do.
You have to stay open. Teachable. You’re not always right.
And yeah, a lot of times you’re not going to like what people have to say. But here’s the part nobody wants to hear. You have zero control over what people say. SO just let them The only control you have is what you do with the information. Especially when it’s negative. Are you really going to hold onto that? Let it eat at you? Couldn’t be me. Well, couldn’t be me now. Nineteen-year-old me would’ve been pissed.
“You are giving other people’s opinions too much power in your life. See, when you let the fear of what other people might think dictate your choices, you limit your potential and hold yourself back from what you want.” —Mel Robbins, Let Them Theory, Chapter 6
Not knowing yourself directly affects how you see yourself as an artist. How much you value yourself. How much you believe in your work. Low self-worth will have you convinced you’ll never make it. And I need you to hear this clearly: What on God’s green earth made you think there isn’t room for you? There is room for you. There is MORE THAN enough room for you.
In my honest belief, you are your greatest study. You are the one constant thing in your life that is always changing and always within your control. Study yourself. Your habits. Your patterns. Your reactions. Your style. You are your greatest muse, you are the topic you know best. Remember I told you that.
When you stop defending and start observing, that’s when everything shifts. That’s when you enter your soft artist era.
You don’t have to explain your work. You don’t have to fight for it. Your work has hands. Let it fight back.
Stop trying to know everything outside of yourself and go deep inward. Especially if you’re confused in your journey or standing at a crossroads. Watch what happens to your work when you stop defending and start observing. That’s when you tap into flow. That’s when opinions stop mattering. Your art moves different when it comes from inner direction instead of validation.
Like I said before , people cannot be pleased, so let them fuck off.
Accept that you’re still learning. Accept that you’re still growing. That acceptance phase is critical. Necessary. Non-negotiable.
